Body language experts have found that only a superb actor or pathological liar can fake what the body says. That means the gestures of people around us every day are telling us what they are really thinking. And once we understand their unspoken messages, we can respond to them appropriately.
Here are some of the gesture clusters you have to deal with most often, plus guidance on how to recruit these people to your point of view.
Defensive: When you see gestures like arms folded high on chest, hand locked into fists or gripping the chair, ankles close together or the person leaning away from you, you 're looking at someone who is uncomfortable with what you're saying. Slow down. Enchourage the other person to comment on what you have said-this may give you clues about what is wrong. Then try new approaches until you see the person's body relax.
Keen: When you see someone standing with hands on hips (or on mid-thighs when seated) or leaning forward on the edge of the chair, you're looking at someone who will be impatient with preliminaries. Move on to a conclusion because their body language is saying "Get on with it."
Thinking it over: Chewing on specs, chin-stroking, ritualistic lighting of a cigarette and so on are all attempts to gain time to think. They will resent any tendency for you to rush them into things. Just wait for a response.
Interested: Someone listening to you with head slightly titled, supported by on hand, body leaning forward, is very interested. Enlist this person as an ally.
Not Interested: A slighty different pose-hand to face, chin in palm with index finger along cheek, other fingers bent below mouth-indicates that the other person is feeling critical. If the body is also drawn back, that person is feeling negative about what is being discused. Deal with it by using any persuasive techniques you can muster. However, if this is a group meeting and you, too, feel lukewarm about what is going on, here is a soulmate who may echo your views.
Anxious: Nose-touching, eye-rubbing or scratching behind the ear while a person speaks often means, "I'm not sure," These people may be putting up a firm front, but they are worried. Deal with it by asking them to explain any doubt.
What about you? Body language is contagious, so relax-unfold your arms, uncross your legs. Soon the people around you will relax, too, and maybe treat your ideas better as well!
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